So mad, I've been silently fuming all day. I woke up this morning to see a post that a friend posted on FB last night. She's a friend of ours (knew D in high school), and also our financial advisor. She has a 17 year old daughter that babysits occasionally. D and I have both noticed her daughter texting while we're there, but I've never said anything. I probably should, that's the passive person in me, but my kids are clean and cared for when she's there, and they LOVE her. Her time at my house is minimal anyway.
Anyhoo, friend posted last night that "E needs a job since she's digging through the couch cushions for change right now." D responded the first time about maybe if she'd worry more about diaper changing than texting that maybe she would have a more permanent gig with us. Then, later on in the succession of posts he chimed in again that E seems less than interested to be there, since she texts all the time. Friend didn't respond to either post of D's.
I'm angry for SO many reasons. First and foremost, who's HE to critique someone elses babysitting skills Mr. I left my children ALONE. Second, he does not have a say in who I get to babysit. If he wanted a say, he should have stepped it up a long time ago. Third, he messaged me before I left work yesterday, saying "I'm sick as a dog. Not coming over. Will revisit tomorrow." Um, what excuse me? Sick as a dog, but CLEARLY drunk when he posted that last night, and able to play on FB? Couldn't be THAT sick.
I just absolutely hate that I feel like I have to pick up the pieces of this. Friend hasn't called me or questioned me about it, and in fact E will be babysitting for a few hours tomorrow afternoon. I WON'T pick up the pieces. I'll direct her to him if she has questions. He's just an ass. WHEN will he understand that he has to deal with the consequences of what he says/does while drinking?
The entire situation has made me anxious, but nearly as anxious as I've been in the past.
I felt the sudden STRONG urge to say something on FB this morning, so all of his friends could see him for what he really is. As my good friend C said today, if the friends know you both, they most likely have some idea of what's going on.
In good news, I re-fi'd yesterday. My house is officially in MY name only. Guess that means I'm an adult:)
I just wish I could reach through this screen right now and hug you. It's so very unfair that yet again, D's actions are upsetting you and the balance in your life. I know it's so much easier said than done, but remember - these are his actions - his words - and although you feel like you always have to clean up his messes, directing E to D if need be is the right way to handle it. D is an ass and I am positive that the people in his life know this. You are not responsible for him and you are taking the high road in all of this. I understand how hard it is to bite your tongue and in some cases it's good to do so, but don't bottle everything up to the point that you explode. If you need to vent about D, direct it toward him or here where you've got lots of understanding and support. I know he deserves to be thrown under the bus so to speak, but I truly believe that the way you have been handling all of this - by NOT publicly bashing him (although he clearly deserves it) - shows YOUR character. C is right, even way back when all of this began, I knew something was up. Those who know you both most likely do have some idea of what is going on. I think you are doing an amazing job considering all the chaos. HUGE congrats on the re-fi!! How the heck did we turn into adults anyway? ;)
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