If my math is right, D had 5.5 days of sobriety. He left my house on Tues night, letting me know he wouldn't be there on Wed. He had a dentist appointment. I guess the added stress of seeing his kids on the same day as the dentist was too much. Whatever, it didn't matter.
Wed came and went. Thursday is usually a day that he comes over. Thursday came and went with no contact from him. Same with Friday. I can "watch" him on FB a bit, and could tell from things he posted/times he posted them, he was drunk. I had written him off for Saturday. I woke up early, took the babies to the park and then we went home and were playing on the patio. He came waltzing out on to the patio at 11. It was my fault. I should have locked the front door. I asked what he was doing there. He said "to see my kids." I told him it was nice that he had the option to come and go as he pleased. He was not sober.
Because he was not obviously drunk, I let him stay. I didn't know what to do! I wasn't allowing him to stay for him, but S yelled out a big DADDY when she saw him. Both babies ran over to him. I let him stay until 1, when the babies went down for their nap. Then, I asked him to take a breathlyzer. He refused. I told him he needed to go, and that he was not allowed to show up unannounced. He just sat there, contemplating. S screamed "I don't WANT daddy to go." She started crying as he put his shoes on. Just yelling/crying daddy, daddy, daddy.
He didn't seem to hear her.
I told her that what he is doing is not fair to his kids. His response? "Life's not fair."
Bastard.
He left, and I was left to comfort an inconsolable child. I just kept reminding her that I would take care of her. Over and over. And over and over she kept crying daddy, daddy, daddy. She finally cried herself to sleep.
Later that night, she asked why daddy left. Ugh. I can only say "he's sick" or "he has things to do" so many times. So, I told her that mommy has rules, and that daddy is not following them right now. Because he's not, mommy told him to leave. She seemed ok with that explanation. I didn't know what in the hell else to say. I'm at a loss.
Anyway, that was Saturday. I haven't heard from him since, and it's Tues afternoon. I know he's alive, but that's about it.
How pathetic is it that if I see he's been on FB my first thought is "well, I guess he's still alive." Also, if I happen to have time to watch the news in the morning, I always catch my breath if I see a story about an overnight accident, situation, etc, until I'm certain it's not him.
I hesitated to comment on your last post because I really wanted to say "it won't last" ... but I know that you already knew this. My heart breaks for S. It BREAKS. (of course I'm sad for C & A as well, but for S it's just different because she's older) I don't know what it will take, if anything, for D to realize what he is doing to his children. I'm glad you are finding a way to better explain the truth to S so she can maybe understand a little better. Keep being the strong mommy that you are and when you are having a weak moment and needs someone to lean on or vent to - I'm here.
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