happy (and tired)

That's me on this gorgeous Friday.
I still have not heard from D. His birthday is Sunday and I feel like there are several of us on high alert, waiting for something to happen. His exBFF (S) called me out of the blue on Tues. Long story short, D's brother had called S's wife (weird connection) and they started talking about D. M told her that D wasn't doing well. L told S, and S called me. This was news to me that D and M are talking...so I sent M a text asking if he had been in contact. He said no, but that his convo with L had naturally turned to D. Back to S calling me...he asked if I thought he should reach out to D (backstory: D was an ass to S and L fall of 2012 and hasn't talked to either on since). I told S that was totally his decision and that I understood if he wanted nothing more to do with him. I also said it might ease D's mind to know that S was thinking about him. He went on to say that he's so sorry that this is happening to me, and that he can't believe D couldn't suck it up and be the man that I married, boa, blah. He said he needs to dry out and that is an intervention a possibility. I informed him that, although no real intervention, D had tried to "dry out" several times and just couldn't do it. He hasn't seen him in so long, he just doesn't have a clue. But, I love him for caring about me and my kids, and still caring about D despite having absolutely no reason to do so.

And, I'm still amazed that so many people are still so willing to check in on me and make sure all is ok, and to let me know that they care. It's nice.

Sat is usually a day for D to come over. No word yet from him, and I have my own plans for tomorrow. Tmrw morning, I'm taking the kids and meeting a friend for a fun outing. Then, tmrw night, one of my best friends is coming over, with a friend of hers and Justin is also coming over:) First time for him to meet one of my besties:) He didn't bat an eye when I suggested it.

Have I said that I like him a lot, lol?  I am scared as HELL but just trying to go with it. He's aware of this and has told me that he's comfortable without however slow I need to take this (whatever THIS is). He told me yesterday that he is smitten with me, how fun is that?! He also told me (when i texted him about some issues I was having with my kids) that although he knows I can do it on my own, that he wishes he could help me tag team them so it wasn't all on my shoulders. Who is this guy?! So much (again) for guys not wanting to help care for another guys kids). It shows just how selfish D is.

I/We also decided that 1) I'm fine for his son to play with my kids, so long as it's framed as a playdate with new friend and nothing focused on mom/dad. 2) I'm close to feeling 100% ready for him to hang out with me/us, whether playing at home or him coming along to the park/zoo/etc, so long as there is nothing more than friendship shown between us (no hand holding, kissing, etc). We figured out last night that our first "date" was just over a month ago. It seems like SO much longer, in a good way. We've covered lots of ground in a short period of time. It's big stuff, but feels right. So, GULP, going with it...