the latest drama

I really intended to post about this last week, but was so fired up I was afraid I'd say something I would regret. Not that it matters, but I don't want to stoop as low as I feel like stooping;)

On Tues night, D told me he was taking a trip. He's planning on going to Tampa. He dropped this bomb on me as he was leaving Tues night. I was livid. He was trying to downplay it for me, saying he was going to Tampa, as opposed to Sarasota (which was our "usual" beach spot). I made several snide comments about how it must be nice, and how I have to be "on" 24/7. He responded to saying "Orlanda. New Orleans." I said that Orlando (Disney World for God's sake) had been S's b-day present. New Orleans was over a year ago. We just went round and round, but honestly I was at a loss for words. He had the nerve to tell me it was a FUCKING Father's Day present to himself. WHAT THE HELL?! REALLY?

I've been feeling like something was "off" with him for several days. I wasn't sure he'd been drinking (supposedly had not since he'd fallen down ~3 weeks ago), but I couldn't put my finger on it. I thought maybe he'd stopped his meds. We had a plan for him to come over on Thur, Fri and Sat.

On Wed morning, I woke up to a picture of him on FB, when he was 18, the night he flew to the Persian Gulf. The kicker is his comment on the pic referred to the girl in the pic with him as his "former wife." Now, I will say that I knew he'd been married before. BUT, I will also say that he never told me. His brother did. The first time he made his little escape to Sarasota when we were just dating. BIL came in town, sat me down, and aired ALL the dirty laundry.

**Don't ask me why I never confronted him with this lack of honesty. I have no idea. NONE. I'll call it stupidity.**

He even lied the day we went to get our marriage license. When they asked if he'd been married before, he said NO. When my mom (who doesn't have a filter) asked if he'd been married before, he said NO. He mentioned a live-in girlfriend throughout the years. I put 2 and 2 and 2 together and know this was the wife.

Anyway, fast forward to Thurs night. I never let him know that I knew about her. So, I said something like "interesting to learn of your former wife on FB." He said "yeah, and...you knew about her." "No, you never told me about her." "Yes, I did, when we got our marriage license." "No, I'm quite sure I would have remember that." "well, whatever." "Um, don't you think it would have been nice to inform your SECOND wife about your FIRST?" Then, he got pissy.

I asked the last time he had a drink and he said late the night before. I asked if a breathalyzer would be negative and he said no, which means he lied about last drink, OR drank so much the night before that it was still in his system.

THEN, he started getting really hostile and paranoid. I had asked him a few days before to give me his new bank account numbers and approximate balances. The attorney converted our case to divorce needs the info. He suddenly starts talking about that, telling me how he has hired an attorney and I'm not getting one more penny of his money. I reminded him that the money I *did* get was for our kids, blah, blah. I finally told him he had to leave. Poor S was in the bathroom when he left, he didn't even wait for her, and she started sobbing when she realized he was gone. Not b/c he left, but because she didn't get to pet our dog.

I was just livid. Again. I sent J a text telling him that D was really hostile and I had asked him to leave. He called right away to say that he was done being nice. Let me preface this by saying J is not a macho guy. He doesn't have the need/desire to be the manly man, the fighter, whatever. He would likely always take the passive way out, when possible. He said "I'm doing giving him his space." J had been at my house when I texted to say that D was on his way. "I left so he would feel comfortable. But, if he's being hostile, I'm done being nice. I love you and those kids and will do what I have to do to keep you safe." I should say that I have not feared for my safety around D in a long, LONG time. For me, it was always more emotional. I think J has a slightly different take on it.  He has literally planned what he would do if for some reason D ever barged into the house, drunk.

Fri and Sat passed with no word from D. While I was slightly on edge, wondering if he would pop up at some point, things are so much simpler when he's out of the picture.

He's doing some hard-core attention seeking on FB. He made a post either Fri or Sat night that was simply a ":(". Within the post, he said "I need some loving, and I'm not talking about sex." The same night as he posted the pic with his first wife, he commented on some girls picture "you need some DM loving. Want to come to Tampa with me?" I confronted him about that one, also. I told him if he was going to come on to girls, he might want to do it privately, and not on a public picture for everyone to see. I'm not even FB friends with this girl and *I* saw it, so God only knows who else did. It's almost embarrassing for me.

I just wish he'd go away. It would be SO much easier. Thank God, thank GOD for J. I totally hit the jackpot with him.