the ex

First, let me start by saying that D e-mailed me two days after his outburst to apologize, stating that he was having trouble dealing with the fact that I have a boyfriend. He understands it's not his business and there's nothing he can do about it, so he'll do his best to keep his mouth shut. An apology from him is almost unheard of, and in talking about it by phone, I could tell he was sincere. I told him that he needs to consider meeting J, and that he's not going anywhere. He told me he'd think about it

There was a tentative plan for them to meet last Monday. I admit, I pushed a bit, and then freaked the F out about the meeting. Ultimately, it didn't happen, but at least D was open to it. Soon, I guess. I just want it over with so we can tackle that hurdle. 

So....I've been meaning to write about J's ex-wife.  Turns out, I know her.  He told me about her the first night we talked. She has a somewhat unique name for her age, so when he said it, my ears perked up b/c I know someone with the same name. He went on to tell me where she worked, and then I put 2 and 2 together. She works for one of the 15 agencies in the research project that I manage. Basically, she received weekly e-mails from me for 3 years, and saw me in person 2-3 times a year when I would meet with her and her team. Hello, small world. 

He has started a slow introduction of me. The two of them were at O's teachers meeting a few weeks ago and J mentioned that he's recently started to see O get to play with other kids on play dates. As they were leaving, she asked about the playdates. He mentioned that a friend of his that she knows, and her daughter have had playdates, and that another friend (Stacey) and her 3 kids have also joined.

I asked several weeks ago if he needed to tell her my last name. When she hears that, she'll know who I am, there is no doubt. He, in typical J fashion, said he didn't feel it was right to NOT tell her the last name of the female that would be spending a lot of time with her son. 

Fast forward to this past weekend:

He and O went to a kid bday party with me and the kids this weekend. He of course told her where he went, and went on to name the girl friend he mentioned above, along with me, first and last name, as people that he knew that were there. He walked into my house after dropping O off with her, and said "She TOTALLY knows who you are." After he said my name, she repeated it, and then said, she has 4 year old twins. She works at WU." She went on to state a few other completely random facts about me. He corrected her on the ages of the twins, and told her that I did have a 4 year old, but that the twins were younger. He didn't say we were together, but simply that we'd all met up at this birthday party.

Ahhh, it's odd to "know" each other, lol. I'm not sure why he's not being more direct with her in regards to me. It's his business, and it doesn't bother me either way, so I haven't asked him about it. It does seem that he doesn't want her to know that we met online, which is the reason for the story line of meeting me through his other friend.

Anyhoo...the b-day party was fun. We all went in the same car for the first time, which was odd and fun all at the same time. J and I looked back once and O had given S his baseball cap to wear. He's just so stinking PATIENT, it's amazing. There was a bounce house at the party and he was totally on the ball helping to keep our 4 kids wrangled and safe. On the way home, they were all just wired and I joked that I wondered how people actually took road trips with that many kids. It was TOTALLY hypothetical, but he said "oh, we could do it!"

I'm not sure where it comes from, but I need fairly frequent reassurance that all is fine in this relationship. I was off work on Friday, and had absolutely NO reason to think anything was wrong, odd, etc, but I was feeling a bit apprehensive. I get a text from him out of nowhere saying "never thought about it happening and it's kind of strange to tell somebody bit I think I love your kids too." I started crying (duh).  He went on to say "I've found myself wanting to tell them I love you when giving them hugs or leaving...it's just coming naturally."  I was speechless. He is amazing.

Then, last night I asked if everything was "good." I knew it was, I just needed to hear it. We had been together (with kids) from 2 on Sat, and then all day/night on Sun. I worry that he'll think our "real life" is boring, or that he feels obligated to hang out.  I usually think questions like that, and never ask them and then I ruminate about them so I'm trying really hard to be more vocal. So he said something like, "what do you mean, good? things are great. Where is this coming from? I love you. I love being with you, regardless of what we're doing...You make me want to be more." That last line totally got me, lol. He went on to say that he loves doing things for me, speaking of helping me clean (can you imagine!), or take care of things I need, like cutting grass. Of course, I confirmed what he meant by that and he assured me that it was simply to do something for me, not some random good deed because he felt sorry for me. So, I went to bed as a happy girl:)