Well...

Drunk D strikes again.

I sent him a text Sunday, checking on him, asking if he went to psych appt, and if so what she did about the medicine he can no longer afford. He didn't respond.

Also, on Sunday, I posted a pic of me and J on FB. I should have known he'd lash out. I woke this morning to see a status update from him, saying something like "You get everything you want. The judge and the divorce decree said Sierra is mine. I still don't have my IRA money and that's illegal. Give me my dog or I'll see you in court."

My first instinct was to laugh...a huge change from my getting so instantly pissed that I wanted to throw my phone across the room. Progress, perhaps. I showed J. He pulled me over, sat me on his lap and just hugged me. I love him:)

I knew I'd respond, but I needed some time to pull together a response. I actually commented 3 separate times. and TRUST me, I thought of the repercussions (for him) in forming my response, but dude seriously, he's going to call me out like that and then expect me not to defend myself. My 1st response was something like:

Check the divorce papers. There is no mention of Sierra in there, and I was happy for you to have her, so long as you could take of her. However, you left her in your CAR for 21 hours, while you were in a bar. Due to circumstances associated with how much you drank, you left her in your car. Despite my best efforts of trying to contact you, via phone and text, you didn't tell me where she was. You COULDN'T respond? Fine. You could have let a hospital staff person tell me her whereabouts. We're lucky she's alive. You're lucky I didn't press animal cruelty charges. I'm happy to see you in court.

Comment 2: ps. It's been 18.5 weeks since you've seen your children.

Comment 3: Finally, re: the money. You're right. You do have an IRA that needs to be in your name. It got lost in the mess of changing accounts/transferring money. I realize it's legally yours. I also have to raise our 3 children for the next 18 years. I've done everything in my power to help you, more than any other sane person would have helped, including after we separated. For that reason alone, I thought you might take pity on me regarding the money.

I didn't tag him in my comments. I didn't want him alerted any sooner than needed that I had responded. I wanted his friends to see. I was pissed, but I was also so rational at the same time. I'm done wondering if it's the "right" thing to do, to respond to his posts so aggressively. I'm tired of babying him.  He acts, he needs to expect a response to his action.

Anyway, he deactivated his FB account a few hours later. I'm struggling with this. It was the only way I had to keep track of him. Was the only way I knew he was in the hospital, and thus knew that I needed to worry about Sierra. Granted, I have her now, and so there's not much more I need to know about...but still.

I worry that this is the beginning of his end. He had already cut himself off from so many, and now he's essentially cut ties with everyone he knows. This scares me.

I expect that he'll possibly leave town.

On a different note, a more positive one...J and I ran a 10k on Sunday. This the furthest I've ever run. And he was right there with me:) He finished about 30 seconds before me, and ran up and hugged me and kissed me. And regardless of the sweaty pig that I was, he told me I was so beautiful.

And he continues to talk about the future. He mentioned last week that he had some plans for my basement, down the road...wanting to build two bedrooms down there. The unspoken was that one of those two rooms would be for O. He mentions dealing with the boys that will undoubtedly come, considering my two daughters. He's all in. I still have an inkling of worry that he'll change his mind, but I've tried to push it as far back as I can, and certainly am not letting it frame the relationship in anyway.

At least weekly, I have a convo with S that starts with her telling me that he spends more time with O than with us. I remind her that 1) he doesn't, and that 2) he is his daddy and wants to spend as much time with him as possible. She usually accepts this explanation, but this weekend took it a bit further and said "he's not O's daddy. He's OUR daddy." OMG. This was out of left field, coming from her, who tends to be more stand offish to J than my other two are.  She has this internal struggle of wanting to dive in to a relationship with him (asking for hugs/playing) vs ignoring him and pretending like she doesn't care about him. Clearly, her own defense mechanism of being afraid of getting too close. I told her than no, J wasn't her daddy. That he was O's daddy, but that he liked spending time with us.