I'm so lucky

I got the most random call from D's (ex) best friend today at work. His number didn't come up on the caller ID and I almost didn't answer. I was shocked to hear S on the other end. I haven't talked to him in over a year.  After the crap D pulled with S and his wife last year, I was embarrassed, and had no real reason to reach out to either of them on my own (in the absence of D). Plus, I was just done making excuses for D, and felt that's what was needed for me to reach out.

S made small talk at first, telling me he's taking his kids to Disney this Spring. Clearly, that wasn't the only reason he'd called. He finally asked about D, and our status. I told him we were legally separated and that D had been out of the house since mid-Feb. He wasn't shocked.

I told S ALOT more than I've told anyone else (excluding this blog). They'd been best friends since 8th grade. S bailed D out of ALOT of crap. Not as much as me, but close. Like me, S would have done anything for D, but D burned that bridge last fall.

Apparently D RSVPd to something that S is also going to this Sunday morning. I know without a fact that D won't show up, but S was nervous and anxious about possibly seeing him, not knowing what to  say.

We ended the convo with him saying that I have the endless support of both he and his wife.  Although it makes me feel good, I once again have that feeling that I've "tainted" D with another one of his friends. Reality is, he's done it himself. I know this, but it's still a crappy feeling.

But really, how lucky am I to have this wonderful support system. It amazes and humbles me, and I don't feel worthy of the amount of people that are cheering for me.

Later this afternoon, my boss came in to bring a holiday gift. She asked me how my 2013 has been (slightly tongue in cheek, as she knows most of my business). i told her that overall, it's been really great, and seems to be ending on a very positive note. Little did I EVER expect to be saying that 10 months ago. At that time, it seemed completely impossible and unmanageable.

She told me that I was strong and capable of accomplishing anything.

This has been such a wonderful holiday season in my house. The kids are playing, being messy, they're happy, we're listening to Christmas music as loudly as we want, lol. It's the most comfortable I think I've ever felt in this house. It's my house, they are my kids, and I am kicking the shit out of this single mom gig. Of course, tomorrow I'm sure I'll feel like I'm sinking again;)