bad, bad weekend

My sweet little S spent Fri and Sat night in the PICU, due to an asthma attack on Friday at school. I KNEW something wasn't quite right, but couldn't put my finger on it. I wasn't shocked at all to receive a call from her school about 1 on Friday, asking if they should take her to urgent care. I was in my car when she called, so I flipped around and headed to school to see what was going on. She was in obvious distress. I try really hard not to abuse the ER, hoping to save it for true emergencies, but I could tell this was one.

When we got there, the nurse listened to her lungs, threw down the stethoscope and ran for the dr. In the end, the hospital I took her to could not provide the level of care that she needed, so she had to be taken by ambulance to another hospital. I had a feeling it was leading up to this, as all of the interventions they were trying were not helping. But when the dr broke the news, I started sobbing. It is scary SHIT when your child can't breathe. I was also frantically trying to figure out the logistics of how the situation would work. The twins were still at school. My parents knew what was going on and were actually in the area, so I had asked them to please not head home until a decision was made. J also told me to keep him updated and he was ready to revise his plans as needed, offering to stay with the twins overnight, should S be admitted.

In the end, she was admitted to ICU. My parents took the twins to their house. J, who had O that day, dropped him off at 7 and headed to meet me in the ER. We headed to the ICU about 7:30 on Fri night and were there until 2:30 am on Sunday morning, when she was well enough to handle a regular room (and there was immediate need for her ICU space for another child). With the exception of an hour or 2 late on Friday night when J ran home to grab stuff for us, he was there until Sunday morning, when he had to leave to get O and spend the day with him.

He was awesome and amazing, and helped me take care of S. He brushed her hair and made her laugh and even brought her Cinderella dress from home, in case she wanted to feel pretty. He helped me answer questions from the drs. He helped me hold her when she was combative from all the albuterol they were putting in to her little body. He took the place of her dad. She never asked for D. But, when J suggested on Sat night that he might need to leave to take care of some things, she begged him to stay, and he did.

Visitors have to wear stickers, stating patients last name and a few other pieces of info. You get these stickers from the front desk at the hospital. Interestingly enough, J's sticker labeled him as her parent/guardian. I have no idea if this was assumed by the person making the sticker, or what, but it was sweet and I liked it:)

At one point, one of the respiratory therapists asked me to compare J's breathing to S's. She said "look at your husband's neck. See how it looks right now?" I must have gotten just a stricken look on my face. J busted out laughing and explained he was boyfriend, not husband. Therapist was mortified.

Another time, J was showing her some pics on his computer. One was of his mom and step-dad. He briefly tried to explain step-dad to her, and then under his breathe said "you might have a step-dad some day." He looked at me and I could FEEL the blush on my face.

I swear, if I was not "sold" before, this weekend sealed the deal. And even before the weekend, last Thursday, I was in ridiculous pain from a pulled muscle in my back. J got up, woke up all 3, got them dressed and in the car for me to take to daycare. And he does it so easily. there is no frustration, no agitation like with D, 150% patience most of the time (and when he loses patience, it's completely understandable).

We always joke about "real world" and I've warned him from the beginning how chaotic my real world has the ability to be. But Sunday morning about 3 am, when S was moved to her new room, and we were sitting next to each other with his arm around me (half asleep ourselves), and we were watching her sleep in this almost dark hospital room, that's when I knew he had for sure made his way into our real world.

He texted me Sun morning, after he and O had breakfast, asking if S could see out her window. He had driven back to the hospital and was holding O and they were waving to her from the street.

Switching gears...I did not call/email/text D about what was going on. I was under no legal obligation to tell him, and since it's going on 10 weeks since he's seen his kids, I didn't give a rats ass. I do know that he was not on FB for several day, and didn't get on until Sunday night, so he missed the posts I made (primarily for his benefit). But, he's seen them know I KNOW, and I haven't received any form of communication from him asking how she is. Nothing. I at the very least had expected him to call bitching me out b/c I hadn't informed him, but I didn't even get that. Bastard.

He took these Thursday night. We were all sitting at the table, I was looking down and when I looked up there were in my lap and he was taking pics. I might have died just a little:)

The last one is of his goofy self trying desperately to cheer up S.