D is officially out of his apartment, and is moving into our condo today. The entire process is leaving me feeling quite bipolar myself. He called me yesterday, in very very good (sober) spirits. He'd been to the condo, and was SO excited about moving back in. It was our home for 8 years, it still feels like home to him. I'm glad. I'm happy for him. It was a good conversation. Most sober conversations ARE good. He was ON yesterday.
He just called me. He's at our (MY!) house now, waiting for the movers to move couches, a table, chairs. When he was in the apartment, he bought a futon and took a card table. Bachelor living at it's best. Today, he's taking our furniture. The things we picked out and bought together. Honestly, I'm fine with it. The couches are pretty much ruined anyway from him crashing on them for so long. About 6 months ago, I bought a fantastic leather couch. THAT is mine:) I'm happy to get rid of the stuff I don't want, talk about spring cleaning. But, this is making it really real to me. I mean, yes he'd moved out, and I assumed it was permanent, or maybe I didn't. I don't know. I'm sort of sad. This is the picture of divorce I have in my head...dad pulling up with a moving truck and carting stuff away to his new space.
The only thing that keeps me from being horribly sad is that I can tell he's drinking. Good ridance to that.
In other news, I was SO pulled into the drama of a few days ago (could you tell??!), that I forgot that I got some GREAT news. I found out that my filing "legal separation" will indeed fly with my employer, and I'll be able to keep him on my insurance. I can check the divorce box any time I want, whether if it's when he gets disability, or I want to get re-married, or whatever. I feel really really good about this. I KNOW it's not my responsibilty, and some are telling me I'm being too nice, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do this for him. It seems like the right thing to do, even if he doesn't deserve it.
It's nice that you had a bit of good news to report. Don't let people get inside your head by saying that you are being too nice with the whole insurance issue. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is what you can live with and what makes this easier for you. I can only hope that D appreciates how generous you've been.
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