mediation take (I've lost track)

Friday was our final mediation appointment. It consisted of the attorney reading us the parenting plan, page by page. Some of it was standard, and couldn't be changed. Other parts he made specific for us, and wanted our input, feedback, approval, etc.

In all, we agreed with everything. D only needed one thing clarified. There was a part that said that both parties would insist that no derogatory comments about the other spouse would be made around the children. I agreed immediately.  D looked at me and said, what about your parents? You don't think they'd say something about me? I responded by letting him know that if my mom has a question about anything divorce related she will pull me into another room to ask, or ensure that babies are not within earshot. that appeased him.

I will get sole legal and physical custody. The physical custody was sort of a given. I had been on high alert that he might raise a stink about giving me full legal custody. The lawyer even gave an example about education. As sole legal guardian, I can make decisions about what school the babies will attend. If D disagrees, we can discuss (confer), but ultimately I can go with my desire. Of course, in case of a medical emergency and I am out of contact, he would have the right to made an emergent decision. We all know, however, that he will never be left in that position.

A few days before the appointment, D begged me, BEGGED me, not to bring up "Walgreens." I honestly didn't know what he was talking about. He said "you know, me leaving." He cried. He told me I could do and say whatever I wanted and that he would agree, but basically please don't tell on him. I still hadn't decided what I was going to do when I walked into mediation. The attorney made it easy. He mentioned the fact that he was NOT going to check the "mandatory supervision" box. Doing so would immediately have a guardian ad litum appointed. That's all I needed to here, so I kept my mouth shut.

When it came down to what D was going to have to do, there were 3 things listed.
1) Attend AA 2x per week.
2) Keep regularly scheduled psych appointments, along with anything else that she might recommend.
3) Remain 100% med compliant.

My issues were with 1 and 3. Re: 1, I looked at both D and attorney and said that AA is for people that want to quit. You (he) doesn't. I don't see the point in him going. To me, it's setting him up for failure. He lied during the meeting when I asked him the last time he went. He said 3 weeks ago. Not even close. Also, you can't police AA. It's not like he'll have a receipt of his time there. Sure, he can get a sign in sheet, but that can be forged. I said I was willing to let AA slide. Attorney basically said that a judge would NOT allow our case through without AA written in. Then, he looked at Dan and said, "when you sign this paperwork, you are AGREEING to do what it says. If you don't know, she can pull your kids away." D didn't say much.

Re: 3) I asked how much the med compliance had to be proven vs assumed. Attorney said that every once in a while (once a month maybe), if I didn't allow him to see kids b/c he was not acting right, it would be ok. More than that, and D could petition that I'm keeping them from him. It's my word against his as far as taking meds is concerned. In the end, I don't think it's going to be a big deal, but I am glad that I got to raise the issues in front of D.

So. We both need to sign the parenting plan, and then send back to attorney. At that point, he will put our packet together and then we will file. Right now, it's taking 45-60 days to get on a docket. hopefully this will all be done by the end of the summer.

Still so strange, but he came over on Sat and Sun and played daddy. He has a psych appointment today. He's letting me go with him. This will be his first time back to old dr since leaving in-patient. He admitted to me on Sunday that he's feeling much more depressed than normal. I'm glad that he's sharing with me, but boy, we need to nip this in the bud. He also said that he is done with the bi-polar med they put him on in the hospital. He doesn't like the side effects. Normally, I'd tell him to suck it up, but 1) I know he wouldn't and then God only knows what would happen and 2) there are so many other things out there to try.