OMG I'm livid (again). D finally called on Sunday and asked if he could come over. I wanted to be mean, I really did, but I couldn't. I asked if he was sober, I told him that he is not allowed to make promises of any kind, and then I gave him permission to come over.
The joy on my babies faces when they saw him made me want to cry. He got running hugs from all three. He does not deserve them.
He didn't look any worse than usual, except I noticed that he hadn't shaved or cut his hair in several days. This is odd and very very rare for him. He usually cuts his hair every 5-6 days, and can't go more than 2 days without shaving. There was at least a weeks worth of facial hair I would guess. The self-care seems to be going down the drain.
He didn't go to the parenting class. "I was very, very sick." When I questioned more, apparently he had shakes that he could not control. He insisted that re-scheduling wouldn't be an issue. I knew it would.
Fast-forward to today when he e-mails to tell me he rescheduled his class for 6:15 pm on 11/25. Our court date is an 9 am on the 25th!!!! That was the next available class. I called him, and he just sat there in silence as I told him I was sick of him not thinking about how his actions affect others. That he's screwed me AGAIN. And doesn't seem to care. He didn't even apologize!
I called the court clerk and she advised me that it's better to keep the court date and have the judge figure out what to to. I've been under the impression all along that we both have to do the class before this can be official. She said that sometimes the rules can bend. I not so secretly hope that the judge reams him up and down for not doing what he was supposed to do.
I'm just so DONE. With his excuses (I've been like this as long as you've known me), with his passive-aggressiveness, with his lack of motivation to help himself, with his inability to see how what he does (or doesn't do!) affects others. D.O.N.E.
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