I just got of the phone with my brother in law. He sent me a text earlier, asking why someone was checking employment history for my DH.
Turns out, he didn't connect the dots, and thought it was a reference for job, and not an apartment check.
So, I just had THAT conversation. It's one I've been putting off, almost as much as telling my parents. I had to tell his brother that enough is finally enough. That I have to protect our children. He told me he loved me and that he understood and that I am more family to him than his brother is. He told me that he has been waiting for me to make this decision, but knew I needed to make it on my own.
Luckily (??), he's also a lawyer. He talked through some things with me. He doesn't think mediation is going to work. He thinks that DH is going to need someone in a black robe laying down the law. He doesn't think he'll follow through with mediation. He thinks he'll be back in a few weeks, promising me that he'll be better.
We talked about the inheritance. He agreed since my name is on everything, I am entitled to ask for 50%. Such a tough conversation to have with him. I have been desperate for him not to think that I've reached my breaking point just when there is finally money at stake. This is HIS families money after all, his mother's money. I honestly don't think it ever crossed his mind.
Wow... for his brother to refer to you as more family to him than his own brother says VOLUMES. I'm glad that you had the conversation. It may not have been easy, but that just goes to show how strong you are! You are doing what needs to be done, not ignoring situations in hopes that they just go away. Like you said, I doubt that the inheritance being *his* families money ever crossed his mind. You ARE his family. Those babies ARE his family. Don't ever feel guilty about that money. You are taking care of your family, plain and simple. Not asking for 50% would be irresponsible in my mind.
ReplyDeleteI saw this quote and immediately though of you and the little ones: "You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce." Don't take any more of his BS. Rise above it and know that you are worth so much more.