Rum

He drank all weekend. Literally, all.day.Sunday. This morning, I found a bottle of rum, hidden, of course. That was the final straw for me. There is a strict "no hard liquor" rule in our house. When sober, he agrees and understands why. He's an ASS when drinking hard liqour. It's just not allowed. But, I found a bottle this morning.

I told him I wouldn't tolerate it any more. He needs to find somewhere else to go. He asked "what about babies." I told him that I would take care of them, and be responsible for them, like I always am. I told him to find a place that accepts pets, because I CANNOT handle our neurotic dog + 3 kids. Just isn't happening. I told him to find someplace cheap. When he thought about moving out before, he reserved an apartment hotel for a month, at the low low price of $1000. Um, no. Cheaper please.

I checked our savings account a bit ago, and saw that he'd taken out $200. He doesn't DO that, and I flipped out, with concern. I just called him, he said he was home. Said he was waiting for a guy to call him back about an apartment. I asked if he'd be leaving tonight. He said "it's what you wanted." Damn, fucking  manipulator. YEAH, I want my husband to be a fall down drunk, that can't stop drinking and ruin our marriage. That's right. That's what I signed up for. Whatever.

Regardless, I find it funny that a bottle of rum was FINALLY my tipping point. Not a DUI, not hitting one of our kids or myself (NEVER HAS), not burning one of the few bridges he has left. Just a bottle of rum. It represented to me that he has checked out, that he is not rational, not logical, nor does he have any desire to be.

My kids deserve better than that.

I deserve better than that. He can't do that right now. Never.

All weekend, I kept hearing him tell the doctor "I don't have a plan." GET A PLAN YOU IDIOT, BEFORE YOU COMPLETELY RUIN YOUR LIFE.

I DO have a plan, and it's to be the best mother (and father, possibly) I can be to my babies. That's my plan. There's never been a question in my mind.